**THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER**
"It's a mark of the highest honor when I say it's even more riveting than an episode of 'Dateline'."
—The New York Times
From Paul Holes, the detective who found the Golden State Killer, Unmasked is a memoir that "grabs its reader in a stranglehold and proves more fascinating than fiction and darker than any noir narrative." (LA Magazine)
I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don't even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I'm drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can't shake.
Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I've had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It's only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.
When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.
But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy—even fatherhood—because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It's something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. "I don't know if I can solve your case," I whisper. "But I promise I will do my best."
It is a promise I know I can keep.
- New eBook additions
- Start Something Good
- Available now
- New kids additions
- Black History Beyond February
- New teen additions
- Most popular
- Weird and Wonderful Fiction
- Try something different
- Libros de Ficción en Español para Adultos
- Libros de No Ficción en Español para Adultos
- Texas by the Book
- Kids in the Kitchen Cookbooks!
- See all ebooks collections
- Available now
- Start Something Good
- New audiobook additions
- Texas by the Book
- Black History Beyond February
- New kids additions
- New teen additions
- Most popular
- Try something different
- Audiolibros de No Ficción en Español para Adultos
- Audiolibros de Ficción en Español para Adultos
- Royal Drama!!
- Science Fiction Goes Beyond - BEANSTACK
- See all audiobooks collections
- 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten: Picture Books to Read Together
- Bringing Up Baby: Books for Babies and the People Who Raise Them
- Bedtime Stories to Share
- ABCs, 123s and More: Picture books that teach basic concepts
- Board Books for Babies
- Trucks, Cars and Things That Go
- New Picture Books
- Always Available Picture Books to Share with Kids
- 5 Minute (or Less!) Stories
- Read and Listen Titles
- Sunny Days: Celebrating Sesame Street
- Clifford the Big Red Dog
- How to Catch a . . .
- See all 1000 books before kindergarten collections